Another Letter from Labour

Oh, dear, they really don’t get it. I received another missive from Labour. Now they want me to choose the next prime minister:

As you will know, the Leader of the Labour Party, Tony Blair, and Deputy Leader, John Prescott, have announced they will step down from the leadership of the Labour Party. Tony Blair further announced that on 27 June he will step down as Prime Minister. The Labour Party will now begin the process of selecting a new leadership team with the new Leader and Deputy Leader being announced at the Leadership Conference on Sunday, 24 June. I am therefore writing to you to set out what this means for you and how you can get involved.

Well, yes, I had noticed. I also have plans to assist with choosing the next prime minister; it involves voting for another party; preferably the most likely one to topple my Labour MP.

These announcements, of course, also mark the start of an exciting and historic opportunity. This will be the first time in our history that the Labour Party as a whole will select not only a new leadership team for Labour, but also a new leadership team in Government for Britain.

Yawn… Replacing one delusional despot with another isn’t what I would call an exciting opportunity, but then, I am a mite odd in that respect.

We want as many people to take part in these elections as possible and it is, of course, a right and a responsibility of every Labour Party member to be part of these historic elections.

I’m not a member of the Labour party and I haven’t been for over two years and with good reason, the Labour party consists of a bunch of authoritarian fucks who piss all over the people they are supposed to represent. Strangely, I didn’t wish to be associated with them.

As it stands, though, you will be unable to participate in these elections because your Labour Party membership will soon lapse.

Er, no… I resigned over two years ago.

It is essential that you renew your membership before the ballot deadline which will shortly be announced by the National Executive Committee. Therefore, as time is of the essence, I would today strongly urge you to renew your membership as soon as possible to guarantee your vote in these Leadership elections.

Yeah, well, I’ll wait for the next general election and make my choice then if it’s all the same to you.

Earlier this year we celebrated the 10th anniversary of this Labour government. After 18 long years in opposition, 1997 was a moment for a new beginning, and in the decade that has passed we have built a modern and progressive party, securing three historic election victories. In doing so, we have delivered what we promised in each of those election campaigns: slashing NHS waiting lists, improving school results, building a strong economy, protecting the environment, and giving Britain a leading role in Europe.

An outstanding list indeed. Shall we add a few more? What about; an illegal, unnecessary, bloody and stupid war? That do for starters? What about; the dismantling of the rule of law, the loss of habeas corpus, the attempts by the home office to steal our identity, and what about mass surveillance? Oh, and the attempt to bypass parliament? What about Doctor Kelly? What about Bernie Eccleston? What about the Civil Contingencies Act? What about politicisation of the police?

This election is of obvious significance for the country and our Party. You can be a part of this election and our future renewal. You can help make the decisions about what we say, where we stand, and where we go, collectively, as an organisation. Our members have been fundamental in the achievements of our proud past, and will be of greater importance still in shaping a confident future for Britain, and for us all.

Kiss my arse.

But to be a part of this, you need to bring your membership payments up to date as soon as possible, before the ballot deadline which will shortly be announced by the National Executive Committee (visit labour.org.uk/leadership for deadline announcements and all other leadership election information.) This will ensure you can be part of these elections and our future.

Frankly, the prospect of crawling across the Sahara desert on hands and knees holds more appeal.

7 Comments

  1. Oh go on! You know you want to really. Come and join in all the fun – it is getting lonely in here.

    Seriously though, while I agree that Labour have been complete arrogant fools on some issues – the country is a lot better. You rattle on about freedom – I have never felt so free – to be young, gay, ethnic, disabled, ill or poor or frankly anybody is so much better today than under section 28, high unemployment, long waiting list, sus law, jingoistic Tory Britain – it gives me the creeps thinking about it!

    Anyway obviously you don’t mind the Tories bringing all this back as long as we don’t have to get a plastic card. I suppose the Tories don’t affect YOUR freedom so they are ok.

  2. But it’s not about a plastic card, is it? It goes much deeper than that. As for the Tories, while they are pretty much cast in the same mould, the likelihood that they would change attitudes towards sexuality and ethnicity; highly unlikely as these changes are as much a shift in cultural attitudes as government legislation.

    When Labour came to power, they inherited a robust economy that was as much a consequence of a settling global economy as much as from domestic policy. That stable global economy has enabled Labour to maintain a façade of economic stability, despite pissing away people’s pensions and screwing us bloodless in stealth taxes. Unemployment and economic stability would have happened no matter who was in power. The “sus law” is still with us in spirit, its nature has changed, that is all.

    I want Labour out of power because I value everyone’s freedom – and that means everyone’s freedom from state interference in their lives. Before 1997, I was rarely if ever asked by some spotty oik to “produce ID” – now every jumped up jobsworth thinks they have a right to demand it. This lack of respect for privacy is a direct consequence of government lack of respect for the electorate and our right to privacy.

    You have a strange idea about what constitutes freedom. It’s not one I can find in any English dictionary.

  3. I have never felt so free

    Deep breaths on a beautiful spring morning. The dew on the grass. The lark on the wing. The snail on the thorn. Wang swinging in the breeze.

    Bliss was it in that dawn to be alive, But to be young was very heaven.

  4. I agree with you LR but, unfortunately for freedom in this country, Cameron is Blair with a prettier wife. Getting Labour out and the Conservatives in will be like changing one set of soiled underwear for another. There’s no difference: if anything the Conservatives are worse – they know they’re speaking bollocks. Against all the evidence, Labour boneheads actually believe the rubbish they spout (cf Neil Harding’s crap about “anybody is so much better today”).

  5. “pissing away people’s pensions”

    On the one hand you are saying that the economy is down to the Tories (laughs!) and global forces and nothing to do with a Labour govt then on the other you are blaming them for the dot-com crash and people living longer which is 95% of the reason for the pensions collapse. People took out a ‘private’ pension and this govt has compensated them (belatedly) for their own mistakes and misfortune. In any other instance you would be talking about ‘personal responsibilty’ for your own mistakes (they took the risk) but because it is a bunch of well off middle class people the govt are to blame and must help. As for ‘pissing away’ the 5% the govt did take, some of it was probably spent on one of your relatives hip operations etc etc. Public services funded by taxation are fantastic value for money to anyone below the average income, it is only a minority who might not get value for money (though they do get to live in a nicer safer community).

  6. Neil, more strawmen. One day, you will come up with a rational response to what I’ve actually said, as opposed to what you would have liked me to have said. You also allow your blind loyalty and prejudice to obscure the facts.

    Umbongo – I’m under no illusions about the Tories. However, one party in power for too long goes against my grain.

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