Longrider

Sitting as I do in training rooms on a daily basis, I’m used to casting an eye over the various safety posters that litter railway premises. Some are valid and provide useful information. Some are pretty inane, but harmless enough.

Recently, Network Rail started issuing a series of safety information posters under their “365 Safety” logo. Most of these have either been genuinely useful or statements of the obvious, but nonetheless, not particularly worthy of comment. Today, though, I saw one that took my breath away. It exhorted us to eat healthily, to make sure we consume the requisite approved five a day fruit and veggies.

I no longer work for Network Rail, so can cast an eye over this poster and cheerfully ignore its stupidity. If I worked for them still, I’d be insulted and patronised. I’d also wonder at them wasting money on something that is absolutely nothing to do with them.

LUL drivers are to protest about a new comedy film because it trivialises railway suicides:

Train drivers will stage a protest tonight at the premiere of a British comedy about suicides on the London Underground.

Members of Aslef will hand out leaflets when Three And Out, starring Mackenzie Crook, is shown at Leicester Square, London, this evening.

Crook plays a tube driver in search of a volunteer to commit suicide under his train so he can get compensation. Union members have criticised the subject material, saying that deaths on the railway are “never funny”.

I’m sorry, but haven’t they got something better to do?

No, deaths on the railway are not funny. That didn’t stop us cracking black jokes with the local BT Bobby while standing over the dismembered body of a young woman who had put her head on the line at Westbury some years back. We were waiting for the coroner’s office to send out a medical practitioner to declare the body pieces formally dead – we knew she was dead, but we were not experts, you see. When the doctor did turn up an hour or so later she tottered along the line to the scene, took a brief look and told us what we already knew – yup; dead. Including the bits the foxes made off with before we got there.

As I’ve helped recover the body parts from suicides, I concur with the view that there is nothing funny about it (despite my facetious tone in the previous paragraph). But… But… Writers and performers will always try to push the envelope of acceptable source material. Sometimes it is funny and it works. Sometimes it is plain distasteful. Why not let the viewing public be the judge?

Do I want to watch this film? Nope. Do I plan to protest about it? Nope.

Keith Norman of Aslef thinks that it shouldn’t go unremarked:

I don’t want Aslef to look like some sort of kill-joy organisation, because we’re not,

I’m afraid that’s exactly how you come across – and as stated, I have personal first hand experience in the matter.

but there are issues which we shouldn’t ignore - and this is one of them. I want the public to be aware of how distressing it can be for a driver to discover a body under the wheels of his or her train.

Maybe you should trust them to be able to tell the difference between a piece of fiction and reality?

Of course, as is often the case, someone comments on the article and in so doing displays that they are have qualified with honours from the university of cretinry. In this case, gil from Bristol:

I have read that once a train driver has killed a person he is never able to return to his job because it has so unnerved him. This film should be banned. I have every sympathy with train drivers over this stupid film.

No, gil, some drivers become so distressed that they cannot carry on driving. And, no, it should not be banned, you fucking ignorant little control freak.

I’ve never much liked Ken Livingstone – even when I was a paid up member of the Labour party. He is a supercilious, self-serving little creep who will snuggle up to some of the most obnoxious company if he deems it worth his political while to do so. His latest shenanigans tends to confirm my negative opinion of this unpleasant little man.

Despite the evidence that it is a good thing, he has vetoed the use of motorcycles in bus lanes for London. I’ll let the BMF explain (quoted from Rider Magazine – no online version, sorry):

The BMF has accused London Mayor Ken Livingston’s office of putting motorcyclists’ lives at risk by failing to authorise the use of London’s bus lanes by motorcycles. The BMF will now be making a formal complaint against the Mayor who is also Chairman of Transport for London (TfL)

A little bit of background to the whole thing; motorcycles in bus lanes has something of a precedent down here in Bristol. It has been about a decade since the scheme was trialled – despite vigorous opposition from cycling groups who argued at the time that allowing other vehicles to use these lanes would place cyclists at risk. The trial was a success and cyclists were not mown down willy-nilly by nasty speeding motorcyclists, and over a ten year period the two groups have coexisted alongside buses rather well. As a member of both groups (although I am temporarily without a bicycle), I am more than happy with the arrangement; it is good for vulnerable road users who are now in a lane away from most other traffic and it is good for pedestrians who can now see bikes that would otherwise be shielded from them when they try to cross a clogged road. Winners all round, in fact.

So, what is happening with the TfL report; what does it conclude?

The report (the findings of which have not been disputed) shows that accidents were nearly halved over a three-year period on two trial routes where motorcycles were allowed into bus lanes. In fact it found that when motorcycles were allowed access to bus lanes, it proved safer for all users including pedestrians, cyclists, car drivers and motorcyclists, with a 42 per cent fall in the overall rate of collisions

So… surely the Mayor would welcome this, no? No, indeed, it seems…

Commenting on reports that Mayoral staff have now ordered a re-write of the report to avoid a green back-lash from the cycle lobby, the BMF says that this is like living in a dictatorship where everything is manipulated to suit the state.

So let’s get this straight; the Mayor orders a report. The report findings do not suit his political prejudices so he orders a “rewrite”. Jesus, I thought this man was an obnoxious little shit, but this is like some banana republic, like, say, oh, I don’t know… Venezuela, perhaps…

It may be worth noting that other mayoral candidates support the use of bus lanes for motorcycles and are not going to be persuaded by the vociferous (and wrong) cycle lobby. Boris, for example:

I want to encourage people to get out of their cars and use other forms of transport but we must make it easier for them to do so. I want to get London moving and this is one of a raft of initiatives that I will take.

Kevin Ash also comments on this abuse of power by the tin-pot dictator in the town hall.

I don’t live in London and rarely ride there, so have no vote come May. However, if you do – motorcyclist or not – do you want to vote for a man who suppresses reports that provide the “wrong” answer? Really?

I’ll leave the final word to Jeff Stone – again, quoted from Rider magazine:

These findings match what we know from elsewhere and I find it bizarre that an expensive report set up to establish the facts has confirmed what we have been saying - but has been suppressed because it doesn’t suit. This smacks of political interference from the highest level.

Indeed.

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Update: There is a response from TfL on Kevin Ash’s article that is worth pointing out:

When an early draft of this report was put together we found that there were significant methodological issues as well as irregularities in the way data had been collected. This meant the validity of these early results was questionable. Further investigation of the data has now been carried out and the report is due to be published shortly. The Mayor will need to examine the full contents of the report and the trial results before taking a decision.

Frankly, I’ll be taking this with a huge pinch of salt. Firstly, if they got the methodology wrong, they are admitting to incompetence (as opposed to duplicity), a fairly standard NuLab trick of late. Secondly, the evidence remains overwhelming (a decade’s worth of it in Bristol). No matter what the methodology for data collection – bikes and bus lanes work.

…you fuck up, have another go:

Millions of rail and air passengers face massive disruption over Easter as Network Rail plans a repeat of the shutdowns that brought chaos to Britain at the new year, while BA confronts pilot strike action.

Engineering works at 35 locations will close parts of Britain’s busiest lines, including the west coast route between London and Glasgow that was hardest hit by work overruns in January. Other lines affected are: the east coast line between York and Doncaster; the great western route between Gloucester and Newport; and the transpennine line between Huddersfield and Leeds.

Oh, dear. While the railway traditionally closes down over Christmas, it usually remains running during Easter. Although, it is also usual to close parts of the network for engineering activities during holiday periods – as, they presume – there will be fewer travellers.

Given the inevitable disruption, longer journeys and over-crowded trains, I avoid travelling by rail during these periods like the proverbial black death.

Network Rail was fined a record £14m by the Office of Rail Regulation (ORR) last month, following a scathing report into the “totally unacceptable” new year fiasco that saw engineering works on the west coast line overrun by four days. “What happened at new year was unacceptable and Network Rail acknowledges that. Everyone has agreed there can be no repeat,” a spokesman for the regulator said.

Indeed. One hopes that things will be better planned this time around. However, nearly twenty years working in and around the rail industry gives me cause for pessimism…

A Network Rail spokesman said yesterday that completion of the work on time could not be guaranteed, but added that the management of engineering projects had been overhauled since January. “We can guarantee that we will be doing everything we can to ensure minimal disruption to passengers over Easter.”

See what I mean?

DK reminds me of something rotten in the state of Europe that has been festering away for a number of years now; the banning of motorcycles.

The goal of stopping deaths on the roads has been set by a number of countries including Norway, Australia and Sweden, where the programme has been called “Vision Zero”.

But Norwegian safety expert Rune Elvik said for it to happen, policy makers should consider the radical step of banning motorbikes.

“If they are serious about these lofty road safety ambitions that have been announced then I think such a discussion is needed,” he said in an interview with Motor Cycle News.

“Motorcycling would definitely not be allowed.”

Over the years that I have been riding, I’ve come to accept that control freakish politicians who think that my safety is their concern and that for my own good, I should not be allowed to ride, are an occupational hazard. Fifteen years or so ago, we had the infamous twat, Martin Bangemann to contend with. This was the man who wanted to legislate for leg protectors on all motorcycles. What this brain dead prick didn’t appreciate – because like all politicians, he was preaching from a position of ignorance – was that in the event of an accident, the rider is safest parting company from the bike. Leg protectors as proposed would have made that more difficult, making, therefore, the bike more dangerous in the event of an accident. Vigorous lobbying from rider groups such as the Motorcycle Action Group and the British Motorcyclist’s Federation eventually killed it off.

Rune Elvik’s biased comments contained in a report for the European Transport Safety Council were noted by the Motorcycle Action Group late last year. In December it was presented to the Flemish parliament for consideration, but MAG Belgium with the support of MPs presented the FEMA (Federation of European Motorcyclists Associations) agenda for motorcycle safety as an alternative. The consequence of this was that the Flemish parliament rejected the ETSC report in favour of the FEMA one. There’s no direct link to this story, but if you search on “Rune Elvik” on MAG’s site, you will find it easily enough it.

So, although I’ve not discussed it here before, I am aware… It’s just that my attention has been taken by more pressing items. It doesn’t mean that I don’t see this as a serious threat; just that from a pragmatic position, the imposition of a ban on a whole section of road users is fraught with practical difficulties making it an unlikely proposition in the short to medium term. And, FEMA have an effective track record when dealing with these people – they’ve had plenty of practice.

For a ban to work, firstly, they will have to put motorcycle manufactures, factors, parts and accessories manufacturers and vendors out of business. Will BMW and Triumph take this lying down, I wonder? That’ll do the economy a power of good, no doubt. Then they will have to confiscate our bikes en masse. We may be a minority, but we are a big enough one to make a nuisance of ourselves. There would inevitably be mass ride-outs in major cities throughout Europe in protest. What will they do? Arrest all of us? And what about those police riders? Will they be banned, too?

This idea is so extreme that certainly in the short to medium term, it is unworkable. Far more likely will be a slow stranglehold approach. Already we are a smaller group than we once were. A generation before mine saw bikes as a stepping stone to getting a car. Now they are more of a leisure vehicle – I am in a minority, using as I do, my bike for daily transport. All they have to do is make getting a bike license more difficult and expensive, thereby putting off potential riders before they start. Oh, wait…

And, as DK points out, there are other practical issues at play:

My mole informs me that this, like many other things, does not need to be worried about yet. There is, my mole says, an unusual logjam of legislation; in other words, there is not nearly the volume of legislation emanating from the EU Commission (they are the only ones who can initiate legislation, remember) as there usually is.

So in the short term, nothing much will happen. In the medium term, they will make life increasingly difficult for us and MAG, BMF and FEMA will have their work cut out fighting a rearguard action. The long term aim then would be that we will fade away. It will be that much easier to impose a ban when there are next to no motorcyclists on the road rather than the awkward brigade we currently have. The smoking ban worked because most of those people affected tended to think it was a good thing. A motorcycle ban will not get the same level of agreement – indeed, quite the opposite.

So, we remain vigilant.

The Public Accounts Committee has apologised for that fraudulent claim by the DVLA that 38% of motorcyclists are tax evaders:

The influential Commons Public Accounts Committee of MPs has apologised to motorcyclists after wrongly suggesting 40% of motorbikes were untaxed.

Well, well, well. That doesn’t happen very often. Just a reminder of where that figure came from:

The DVLA sent people out to take down the registration number of every passing vehicle and they then checked this against the tax database. This yielded a figure of 16 per cent evasion for bikes. They then ran this through a computer model working on the assumption that untaxed bikes are ridden less and arrived at a figure of 38 per cent.

To those of you who may be struggling with this; they made it up.

So, the DVLA plucked the figure out of their collective arseholes, and the committee swallowed it unconditionally. Now that they’ve been caught out, the Public Accounts Committee have had the decency to apologise. Damn right, too.

Committee chairman Edward Leigh blamed the error in last month’s report on the Department of Transport, saying it now estimated the figure at 9.8%.

At the time he accused motorcyclists of “cocking a snook at the law”.

I was somewhat caustic with my remarks regarding Edward Leigh. While I accept the apology and note it in his favour, I would point out that he should have damn well realised that something was amiss before he made his intemperate and insulting remarks about his employers.

Mr Leigh added: “The department did not, however, give us all of the information we needed.”

Well, there’s a surprise. The DVLA is serially incompetent. A casual bystander would have smelt the proverbial rodent at a thousand paces and asked some awkward questions. They would have demanded all of the information before jumping to conclusions and making those remarks. Sorry Edward old bean, you were a fool and your apology, while welcome, does not mitigate that fact. When dealing with serial liars and frauds, you should expect them to be manufacturing the figures and approach them with extreme caution. You didn’t and that was entirely your fault.

David Taylor of the Motorcycle Industry Association is still unhappy with the way that the DfT gathers information.

He added: “The DfT should be embarrassed and should apologise to the vast majority of powered two-wheeler riders who clearly do pay VED.”

Agreed. I’m not holding my breath, though…

Government control freakery knows no bounds. Courtesy of Tim, this little gem:

Passengers travelling between EU countries or taking domestic flights would have to hand over a mass of personal information, including their mobile phone numbers and credit card details, as part of a new package of security measures being demanded by the British government. The data would be stored for 13 years and used to “profile” suspects.

So, we are all suspects now… That is just so typical of the New Labour control freaks – they measure everyone else by their own low standards of ethical behaviour. They are venal, self-serving and criminally inclined so they assume that the rest of us follow the same pattern. While the initiative comes from the unelected and unaccountable EU, our shysters want even more:

But Britain wants the system extended to sea and rail travel, to be applied to domestic flights and those between EU countries. According to a questionnaire circulated to all EU capitals by the European commission, the UK is the only country of 27 EU member states that wants the system used for “more general public policy purposes” besides fighting terrorism and organised crime.

So they want this information for “more general public policy services” whatever that is when it’s not gobbledygook. In plain English, to you and I, that is spying on us for no good reason. Be assured, I have no intention of providing these nasty little Stalinists with my credit card details or my mobile number – they would only give them to criminals lose them.

Of course, as Kay Tie points out in the comments on Tim’s piece – if we all lie and fill it with crap, it will be unworkable. I’m a forgetful cove. Numbers and I never really got along. I failed my eleven plus on maths, so I can hardly help it if I manage to transpose the odd number here or there or somehow get completely confused and add in numbers that weren’t there before. It’s not my fault, it’s a weakness…