Get Those Brown Shirts Out

We lurch ever more towards a dystopian future.

Children are being used to spot speeding motorists and go on night-time patrols.

The ‘Mini Police’ project for those aged nine to 11 was started by Durham Constabulary and is now being taken up across the country. It gives uniforms to pupils in ‘economically deprived areas’ and invites them to special events.

The idea, according to official documents, is that ‘vulnerable children’ will be given a ‘positive experience of policing’ and ‘get involved in the local community’.

Oh, right, I see… Nothing to do with spying on adults then? nothing to do with using the cheeeldren to guilt trip us, then? Oh, no, not at all.

The state must declare the child to be the most precious treasure of the people. As long as the government is perceived as working for the benefit of the children, the people will happily endure almost any curtailment of liberty and almost any deprivation.

It’s working, isn’t it?

Units of the Mini Police often go out on ‘community speed watch’ duty, monitoring passing motorists on busy roads.

Really? What is it to do with them?

Some are equipped with speed guns while others hold up digital boards alerting drivers that they are going too fast.

Given that they do not have driving licences, they are incapable of making that decision. It is not the place of children to monitor traffic, nor is it their place to caution adults on their driving skills. They are not yet mature and this is a terrible, terrible idea that only a vile totalitarian could come up with.

A Norfolk Police spokesman said: ‘All relevant risk assessments were carried out.’

Oh, well, that’s alright, then…

14 Comments

  1. “monitoring passing motorists on busy roads.”

    *waits for the first compensation claim after the tragic death of a child* at which point Norfolk Police will assure us all relevant Health & Safety checks were carried out.

    One assumes the Children will be supervised by either police officers or other adults….and that those ‘other adults’ have been CRB’d cos if not the headline ‘I was MOLESTED while on Speed Duty’ …just saying.

  2. Will this joining the Hitler Jugend, sorry Mini-Police be compulsory, and when will they be forming the 12th SS Mini-Police division?

  3. This has actually been going on for quite a while now.

    Durham Constabulary has form: some years ago it was pilloried because it placed life-sized cardboard cutouts of panda cars on bridges that overlooked the AIM.

  4. Come on you guys, be honest, you must have slaughtered a fair number of kiddiwinks due to you having been driving slightly over the speed limit. On the other hand you might be like me and have been driving for over forty years without causing as much as a single scratch to anyone.

      • Yes, same as that (in a car – I’ve had a couple of minor scrapes in a 38 ton artic). It beats me how, having never made an insurance claim in nearly 50 years of driving, my premium continues to rise every year (although it wasn’t always the case – it used to reduce annually). To my mind, they should be paying me by now.

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