Health Nazis Again

PHE are up to their usual tricks.

Public Health England (PHE) is demanding a “calorie-cap” on supermarket ready-meals and fast food dishes.

None of this being any of their business of course. We didn’t vote for these vile charlatans to bully us, but we are forced to pay for them. Fine, I can cook for myself and pay no attention to the calorie count in each meal. I have never counted calories and have no plans to start. I rarely, if ever eat ready meals. I do, occasionally eat out when on the road. I’ll just have to have extra chips…

The suggested ruling, which may come into effect in March, would limit breakfasts to 400 calories and lunches and dinners to 600 each.

And who decided on these arbitrary figures? What science lies behind them? We know the answers to these questions. The hectoring puritans of PHE are attempting to justify their fat sinecures and will continue to hector, nag and bully us until we stop paying them.

The plan is to combat rising levels of obesity in the UK, with latest NHS figures showing that more than half of the British population are overweight or obese.

This breaks down to 65 per cent of men and 58 per cent of women.

Fuck off! Seriously, fuck right off. This is not even within a parsec of reality. Sure, there are some fat people about, but nowhere near these levels. You only have to look about you and play “spot the fattie” to see that. This is a deliberate and cynical conflation between a bit overweight and obese. This is scaremongering and outright lying on a grand scale.

Public health experts estimate that the average UK adult consumes 200-300 more calories than they need on a daily basis, which they warn can lead to substantial weight gain over time.

There is no such thing as an average adult.

“This is all about things like pizzas and ready-made sandwiches,” she said.

“We will need to set out guidelines and, I suspect, a series of calorie caps.”

Fuck off! You vile, interfering, prodnosed mountebank. Take your interfering nannying and stick it where the sun don’t shine. They’ve already taken the butter out of ready-made sandwiches, making them unpalatable – so I do my own, with plenty of butter, salt, pepper, layers of meat and salad. I will eat what I want to eat, not what these evil creatures think they can dictate to me.

For example, if you switch the frying pan for the grill when cooking meat you can hold back on using oil or butter.

I like frying in oil and butter. I’ll damned well continue to fry with oil and butter.

They also advice opting for wholegrain foods, such as brown bread and pasta, due to their higher fibre content which will keep us fuller for longer than their starchier counterparts.

They also taste vile. So, no. Fuck off.

Obviously it can also help to avoid sugary drinks and treats, such as cakes and biscuits, but you knew that already, hopefully.

As with all things there is no harm taken in moderation, which is what I do and will continue to do. My diet is no one else’s business and PHE need to be culled with immediate effect.

24 Comments

  1. The plan is to combat rising levels of obesity in the UK, with latest NHS figures showing that more than half of the British population are overweight or obese.

    And what of the other half who don’t have a problem with weight? And of those, what of the many men whose work involves a lot of physical effort, and thus a high calorie intake? I suppose they will just be collateral damage in the blinkered drive for a healthist utopia.

    • Yeah, because like the whole country goes to McDonalds for breakfast… it just shows how crazily out of touch with the world these people actually are.

  2. “For example, if you switch the frying pan for the grill when cooking meat ”

    We’re still allowed to eat meat?!?!? From actual real poor murdered little animals whose only means of revenge is to give us co-rectal cancer?

  3. I often eat microwave meals for dinner at work. Being a type 2 diabetic means that it is carbohydrate content that I have to be wary of. None of the stuff that I eat has excessive amounts in it. Regarding wholemeal stuff, I eat it because I prefer it, I really don’t like white bread at all. I’m also an endurance athlete so I have to carefully increase my carb intake in line with my training programme. I don’t think that I need any advice from P.H.E. about any of this.

      • I expect advice about cholera, small pox, various types of plague, Ebola and the like which is public health. Capping calories in take away meals and ready meals is nanny statism. It is the same with minimum pricing of fictitious alcohol units.

  4. As long as PHE has funding they will continue to produce junk science and puritan garbage. The answer is clear. Stop funding them. If there is popular will for Puritanism (And look what happened to Ollie C’s body) then they’ll find funding.

    Funnily enough I suspect they’ll find none.

    • You are clearly in denial. Don’t you realise that something must be done? SOMETHING MUST BE DONE! WE NEED TO DO SOMETHING AND BE SEEN DOING IT*! SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!!!

      *our funding depends on it

  5. Shan’t bug you with the links.

    Portion Fish and Chips – 1086 calories

    Portion Chicken Korma – 750 calories (add rice at 250 or chips at 350)

    500 cc tub of Ben & Jerrys cookie dough ice cream – 1150 calories

    8″ cheeze thin crust pizza – 740 calories (add coleslaw – 250 calories).

    House Special Fried Rice – 780 calories. (add cup of chicken & sweet corn soup – 290 calories).

    Maybe they don’t quite understand that a whole lot of people, myself included, have one main meal every day. About 4 hours before hitting the sack.

    • +1 – real men don’t eat lunch nor brunch and breakfast is a pot of coffee, a pack of smokes, paracetamol and something that isn’t Danny Baker on the wireless.

  6. Public Health England (PHE) is demanding deserving a kick in their nuts followed by abolition and dole queue for their 5,000 staff (full-time equivalent).

    Result: ~£4 Billion per year reduction in Gov’t spending of taxpayers’ money (equiv to 25% of our “donation” to EU pa). [Src PHE 2016/17 Accounts]

  7. …or get round these stricture entirely by learning to cook properly. Unless these PHE bastards somehow manage to get CCTV in every kitchen or on every barbecue. Maybe with the next phase of ‘smart’ cookers which won’t allow you to switch on an unregistered deep fat fryer or will detect steak fumes at 100 metres and shut down.

  8. This is as crazy as male body builders being labelled as morbidly obese because of weight to height ratio. They use BMI and go mental instead of using conductivity to get the lean to fat ratio of an individual. BMI is widely discredited. When I walk down the street every second person is not a lard bucket.

  9. nisakiman:
    “And what of the other half who don’t have a problem with weight?”

    Yes indeed, what kind of idiots came up with these arbitrary one size fits all numbers? There are fat people and thin people, sedentary people and active people, they should all limit their meals to six hundred calories? In my case staying active is part of my diabetes control. Being active means that I don’t put on weight so the calories in my food aren’t really of interest to me. Carbohydrates on the other hand are important. So, today’s Asda curry contains 574 calories. Add a pack of two minute rice at 336 calories and that makes 910 calories, oh noes I’m exceeding the official government guidlines. The curry however has only 20 grams of carbohydrates, the rice has 55.5 grams of carbs. This adds up to 75.5 grams which I am very happy with as it allows me to keep my blood glucose level well within safe limits. Apparently some armchair dietitians, who know nothing about me, know better than I do what I should be eating.

    • The real source of the problem becomes clear once you understand that in the distant universe that PHE inhabit, any man weighing more than 10st is classified as overweight/obese.

  10. One sighs and waits for the day when Public Health England finally have what I will call thier “Jo Marney” day (she being the racist g/f of the current UKIP leader) when – consumed by thier own superiority – they issue a press release which crosses the line so comprehensively that the Government is pressured by public blowback to clip the wings of those concerned and disband them as unfit for purpose.

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