Stupid is as Stupid Does

Flat Earthers…

Among all the scientific questions that have fascinated Man over the centuries, surely there is one that is beyond debate. Planet Earth is round, not flat.

The Ancient Greeks first discovered this fact in at least 200BC, if not 300 years earlier. The Renaissance astronomer Nicolaus Copernicus delivered solid mathematical proof in 1543.

And we’ve seen it for ourselves in numerous breath-taking images of Earth relayed from space. So how is it that a growing number of people are starting to reject as baloney the fact that our planet is a sphere?

One wonders. Then again, there are people who believe George W Bush masterminded the 9/11 attacks (GWB!?! Ed), so there are people who will believe any bunk. Never mind the maths, never mind the real science, never mind the images from space; no these people believe that the Earth is flat. Terry Pratchett was joking, really he was. Although, maybe he met these people and the joke was at our expense.

Last month, the former England cricketer, Andrew ‘Freddie’ Flintoff, declared himself a Flat-Earth enthusiast.

He argues that ‘evidence suggests the world isn’t round’, asking: ‘If you’re in a helicopter and you hover, why does the Earth not [rotate under you] if it’s round?’

He added: ‘Why would water stay still if we’re hurtling through space? Why is it not wobbling?’

This is why when celebrities open their mouths to offer us the benefit of their wisdom, we should ignore them. Of course, not all are as cretinously dense as Flintoff appears to be – and be prepared to tell the world, as well. But even so, it is evidence that they have nothing special to offer when it comes to wisdom.

But thousands of Flat-Earthers made it to North Carolina, flying from Britain, New Zealand and Argentina, ignoring the fact that aircraft computer systems are configured to navigate a spherical planet, not a flat one.

Well, yes…

Robbie Davidson, the conference organiser, claims the movement is in its best shape since Copernicus annoyingly offered proof that our planet is round. He said: ‘You’re going to see more celebrities and scientists come aboard. This is just the beginning.’

The systematic dumbing down of education over the past few decades is coming home to roost.

Shaquille O’Neal, the American former professional basketball player and rapper, declared himself one of the gang in March.

‘I drive from Florida to California all the time, and it’s flat to me,’ he declared. ‘I do not go up and down at a 360-degree angle, and all that stuff about gravity.’ He and Flintoff should get along well.

Words fail me. Really they do. The stupid, it hurts. Yeah, all that stuff about gravity. Newton, eat your heart out.

Apollo astronaut Harrison Schmitt, who set foot on the moon in 1972, responded philosophically: ‘If people decide they’re going to deny the facts of history and the facts of science and technology, there’s not much you can do with them. I just feel sorry that we failed in their education.’

Quite so. If you are going to ignore someone who has first hand experience then what else is there to say? But like the truthers who believe that 9/11 was an inside job, these people have a pat response that fits with their delusions.

‘Astronauts simply don’t understand that their word isn’t worth anything any more. This isn’t the Sixties. We don’t fall for your nonsense.’

There’s no answer to that.

Flat-Earthers believe Nasa faked all pictures of a moon landing and of the Earth viewed from space and that Nasa is lying to conceal the truth that the world is a flat disc in space with a wall of ice around the rim (regularly maintained by Nasa which knows the truth) to stop the oceans pouring over the side.

This is classic conspiracy theorist paranoia and delusion. But good for a laugh, nonetheless. One wonders how come Francis Drake and all those who followed him in circumnavigating the Earth never found this ice and where was Nasa then? Why didn’t they help us out with the Armada?

Flat-Earther Robbie Davidson compares his movement to climate-change sceptics who are mocked for questioning zealots.

In this case, they are the zealots clinging to the fake science. In this equivalence, they are the warmists, not the sceptics.

With the backing of cricketer Andrew Flintoff and other celebrities, he insists their theory is due for wider serious consideration.

No. Really, it isn’t. It’s bunkum. Easily disproved bunkum. The only evidence here is that of your lack of intellect.

‘Pretty soon it’ll get to a critical point and scientists will have to come to the table,’ he said. ‘It’s one thing when it’s a bunch of fruitloops online, but now we are getting to the point of seeing major names.’

Freddie Flintoff is hardly a major name. But, yeah, I’ll go along with the fruitloop bit as that seems to fit nicely.

One ‘major name’ who disagrees is Elon Musk, chief of the electric-powered vehicle company Tesla and the private space exploration rocket company SpaceX.

Last month, he teased Flat-Earthers by tweeting: ‘Why is there no Flat Mars Society?’

The Flat Earth Society replied: ‘Unlike the Earth, Mars has been observed to be round. We hope you have a fantastic day.’

You can’t argue with that kind of idiocy. The best thing to do is stand back, point and laugh.