If I Were King for a Day

I’d string up vile socialist scumbags such as Alan Johnson.

One thing: a single proclamation; a dictat that required no pandering to public opinion or consultation with a focus group. It’s simple. I’d ban Coca-Cola and all its offshoots, lookalikes and variants.

I considered restricting my banning order to consumption by the under-25s. Sloshing this sugary chemical into the throats of children has no beneficial effect whatsoever. If fluoride gives poor kids rich kids’ teeth, cola can do the opposite. It neither quenches thirst nor increases energy. It’s responsible for damaged teeth, thicker waistlines and lighter purses.

And this, ladies and gentlemen tells us all we need to know about the rotten heart of the socialist. You see even if all this was true, it is none of his business. Is anyone forcing him to drink it? No. Well, that’s that, then. I happen to like the occasional coke and its variants. It is refreshing on a hot day. It is for me to decide whether it quenches my thirst (it does) and it is for me to decide what I put into my body, not Johnson. I neither need nor want his protection from myself, the arrogant, self-righteous bastard, or from Big Soda, because I am perfectly capable of making my own choices (and it is none of his god-damned business – although the hard of thinking below the line trot out the usual  cost to the NHS claptrap). So, too, are the under 25s. After all, the political parties have decided that the sixteens are old enough to choose a government – therefore they are old enough to decide what beverages to drink.

Y’know, the more I hear these cretins use the cost to the NHS canard, the more I become ill-disposed towards the concept. After all, socialised medicine has merely become a tool for the control freaks to use to try to force us all to their will – because of “cost to thee NHS”. I fucking pay for the NHS. I am a net contributor. So, I’ll eat and drink whatever I choose and Johnson can stuff it where the sun doesn’t shine – and so, too, can the mindless, illiberal cretins on CiF. My money, my body, my choice. Now piss off!

Ultimately, though, the bansturbators have only one tool – the big ban stick. Everything they dislike, everything that the proles do that incurs their ire, everything the great unwashed choose to eat or drink that gives them enjoyment, it all must be banned because scum like Johnson have decided that they know best. What needs banning big time are the vile bansturbators. So, yeah, make me king for a day and Alan Johnson will be dancing along  with all the other nasty little socialists.

8 Comments

  1. Typically ignorant socialist. Fluoride is EXTREMELY toxic. Everytime these do gooders think they will force water companies to add it to drinking water they have to be made aware of how many deaths they will be responsible for. Yet another grade A idiot.

  2. Look out! They will be banning DDT next. By the way, does anyone need any? I’ve got a large consignment of it in my garage- great for ‘offing’ the neighbour’s cats.

    flaxensaxon.blogspot.com/2014/06/silent-spring.html

    • Oh, you kill other people’s cats do you?

      I think Longrider might want to have a few quiet words with you (& people like you)

  3. What a thicko. On the one hand it is sugary, but on the other it doesn’t increase energy.

    Back in my marathon running days in South Africa, that is what everybody drank for energy during races. You could have it neat or half and half with water to reduce the fizz.

  4. Yeah I also love that “it costs the NHS” canard.

    An NHS which is completely paid for by Taxpayers, not the Government. Taxpayers who in thier millions buy soft drinks.

    So Alan Johnnson should take his opinions and fuck himself with them frankly, because the only people who are interested in his view are himself, a few taxpayer funded doctors as those socialist wankers at the Guardian who chose to print it (in complete conflict with thier supposed libertarian editorial standpoint)

  5. I seem to recall that when Johnson was health secretary he ruled that anybody who wanted to pay for additional treatment not available on the NHS had to pay for the entire cost of their treatment, including what they had in effect already paid for through taxes. Nice man.

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