Idiot

August 31, 2014 Longrider General News 15

Michael Simkins.

It has been a stressful few days in my household. Friends have noticed my careworn appearance. Sleep has been impossible. As for answering emails or texts, the trill of an electronic device has had me leaping like a scalded cat.

My skittishness is due not to paranoia but to anticipation of being nominated to take part in the ice bucket challenge.

Once again, I find myself watching as we career towards idiocracy. I mean, if being nominated for a stupid, infantile Internet craze makes one skittish, you really, really need to get s sense of perspective (and a life). And, when the call finally comes, you simply say “no”. That’s it. And, no, you are not obliged to pay money to the charity. You just say “no”. You don’t offer any excuses or justification, you don’t cough up the emotional blackmail money and you don’t nominate anyone else – and you don’t, absolutely don’t, apologise. You don’t even dignify it with anything other than a simple refusal to take part. This craze is all about people trying to make themselves look good in the name of chariddeeee – “look at me! Look at meeeee!” Much like those fuckwits who do the London marathon dressed as a snail or some-such. It ain’t about the charity, it’s about them and their fuckwitted desire for fame – lacking as they do any discernible talent to justify fame in any other way than being stupid. The state already steals money from us and gives it to charity – whether we support the charity’s aims or not.

Besides, if you want to give, then give. Don’t make an idiot of yourself on the interwebs, don’t advertise it and don’t make a fuss. Just hand over the cheque or make the bank transfer and get on with your life. Unless you are an incorrigible narcissist, of course, in which case go right ahead and make a pillock of yourself pouring cold water over your head. Just don’t nominate me because you will be wasting your time. I don’t give to charities that engage in this kind of infantile stunt. Ever.

 It is a brave individual who declines the invite and risks being branded a spoilsport…

I’ll survive. No bravery required.

15 Comments

    • I saw that stage show, too (didn’t realise it was this chap in it, though), and thought it was terrible, particularly compared to the excellent TV series. Clearly written by totally different people – none of the clever dialogue, the (often worryingly) credible political machinations and a storyline which came straight out of the “farce-writers’ book of stereotypes.” Awful.

      And can anyone tell me exactly which wonderful (probably fake) charidee is going to benefit from all these idiots doing this daft challenge? Surely not the ghastly CRUK? Please tell me it’s not them – that would make it all seem even worse.

      • In this country, motor neurone disease. I don’t know if it’s a fake charity or not. Whichever, the challenge is still nothing more than self-promoting narcissism with a bit of blackmail and bullying thrown in for good measure. If you want to give to charity, just give to charity.

        • Whatever charidee it was designed by, it’s being widely ignored. My FB TL is overwhelmed with these daft things and an office employee of mine said she was doing it and donating a fiver to the British Heart Foundation FFS. May as well give her dosh to other corporate entities (which what the BHF is) like Unilever or BP for all the good it will do.

  2. I’ve been nominated and have just ignored it. I have absolutely no intention of succumbing to cyber bullying, no matter how well intentioned it was. I have a charity I subscribe to, with an annual membership, It refuses money from the government and survives on public donations and does make itself known through events. Its volunteers put their lives at risk to help others and is the only charity I know worthy of the name.

  4. Remember in the dim and distant past there used to be things called chain letters? – this is the Internet equivalent.

  5. I nominate Will Self to take part in the ice bucket challenge:- whilst holding a toaster.

    There. Brightened it up for you.

  6. The charity involved spends only about a quarter of its income on useful work, and has executives whose salaries add up to several $million (yes, it’s American!).

    How much of their money comes from the State I did not inquire; the above information was enough for me.

    Nominated about five times, ignored every one. Silly show-offs the lot of them.

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