Signs and Portents

Change is one constant in life. Progress progresses progressively and we must adapt or die. And so it is with technology. I understand and share Laura Barton’s reaction to the driverless car for my reaction is the same. It is something I neither need nor want. I, too, enjoy the sensations driving brings; the sensual interaction between human and machine. I, too, will miss it if we find ourselves in the joyless world of automated cars. I can see perfectly well how suited they will be  to the GNI*s who will never master a motorised vehicle with any degree of competence or safety so long as they have a hole in their arse, and, likewise those unfortunate enough to be severely disabled to the point where driving is impossible or those who really, really don’t like driving and prefer to be taxied everywhere. For these, the technology will be a boon and I wouldn’t wish to deprive them of the freedom it will inevitably bring.

However…

There will, sooner or later, be the calls from insurers and road safety groups to remove the human factor from driving completely. We have seen how the bansturbator works, we have seen his mindset – the anti-smoker who wants everyone else to abstain, likewise, drinking, fatty foods, sugar, salt and fizzy drinks. The mindset that says “I don’t like it, so no one else should do it”. And there are plenty of car haters about, so, yeah, expect the calls – for the children, naturally – for the driver to be eliminated from the task of driving. The pattern is already in place. The bansturbator has been using children as a human shield for some years now, the path is sufficiently well-worn for us to see where it leads.

If I could never drive again, I would miss it. But not as  much as I would miss motorcycling. And no one is proposing  a driverless motorcycle, so we  will be exempt. Yes? Oh, no… We mavericks are in the firing line already. We are a vulnerable road user with a disproportionately high number of statistics wagging their disapproving finger at us. Motorcycling is a dangerous hobby enjoyed by middle-aged men who never grew up and should know better. There’s plenty who think like this and they will join the clarion call for manually operated vehicles to be banned from the  roads – for the children, of course.

I love motorcycling. This summer I have spent  most of it out on the bike(s) teaching. While I could easily forego the car, the bike is something I will defend to the death. I like driving; I love motorcycling. Sooner or later, this will come to the top of the pile of things to be  banned. And when it is, along with sugar, smoking, alcohol, cars, trans fats, fizzy drinks, fruit juice and anything else that people might possibly enjoy in defiance of their intellectual and moral superiors of the health lobby, what a grey, soulless world this will be.

*GNI – God never intended.

10 Comments

  1. Good article LR.

    It appears that I am a GNI, driving is something I would love to do, sadly the roads are much safer without me. I started out on motorbikes, fell off a few times, wrote off one or two. Took driving lessons, failed test, got drunk(ish), flipped coin, drinking beer came up. That was 30 years ago and I have never regretted it.

    As for driverless cars; absolutely not. People can make mistakes, machines can crash. How to cause terror in the city? Hack central controls. I also agree with you that this is probably the thin end of a very thick wedge.

  2. As an IT person myself, I’m not averse to self-driving cars. I also rather enjoy driving, but only on the kinds of open country roads I get around here in rural Italy. City driving in this country is hell on wheels and best avoided, regardless of the vehicle.

    I think the self-driving cars make most sense in urban environments, with an optional “autopilot” mode for motorways. I’m not sure how useful the technology would be for rural areas as they’ll have to be able to cope with tractors joining or leaving traffic at locations that are rarely marked on a map. And a self-driving tractor is unlikely to be high on Google’s master To-Do list.

  3. I enjoy driving but accept that as I get older I enjoy it less, and the time will likely come when health prevents me from driving safely. At present when that time comes I will have little option but move house close to the shops, an idea I hate having lived in a rural location most of my life. The driverless car therefore holds out hope for extending my independence and lifestyle – and likewise for many other older people who find themselves trapped at home when unable to drive.

  4. The big advantage of driverles vehicles is that sooner or later cars can be banned and replaced by buses for the hoi poloi.
    Bound to happen. And will make way for cyclists as well.

  5. How about a world where the machines do all the driving on the public roads and the people who like driving and motorcycling do it on closed tracks? Would that be better or worse or just different?

    • You are kidding me… The whole point of motorcycling is the journey. I have never taken part in a track day and never want to. It’s all about the open road and places to see. Such a world would be one devoid of pleasure. So, worse, much worse.

  6. That is pretty much my view too, I’ve never done a track day either and don’t have any plans to. I just wondered what others thought. With regard to riding and driving, I don’t always get a buzz out of it, it can be quite frustrating sometimes, but I wouldn’t want to give it up. Maybe we can have the best of both worlds, after all, I suspect that the GNIs are the source of much of the frustration. With them being competently driven around by their autonomous vehicles they might not get in the way quite so much.

    Talking of GNIs, I saw a driver negotiating a T junction yesterday who had stopped the car a yard short of the line and was then leaning right forward over the steering wheel to see if there was anything coming.

  7. Driverless cars are here already – according to some enterprising character in Germany. He’s discovered the time-out on Mercedes “Lane Assist” feature can be overridden by simply taping a can of drink to the steering wheel. Combine this with cruise control, and on a good road he just sat back and filmed progress for a YouTube clip. How long before some other idiot tries this and causes a serious accident?

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