The police are being taught how to capture swans. Actually, it’s fairly straightforward as I discovered one Saturday morning when one decided to go walkabout at the east end of Temple Meads, bringing services to a standstill. I had to sneak up behind it and reach out with one hand for its neck and wrap the other arm around its body to contain its wings, so as to prevent it thrashing about and doing itself an injury.
It remained remarkably calm as I walked it to the bridge over the Feeder canal to release it. Not too difficult at all – and no one gave me any lessons, just some advice from an old hand who had done it himself.
According to PG Wodehouse, all you need is an overcoat and a boathook. And a supremly competent gentleman’s person gentleman to do the actual catching, of course. I will consider running courses if the police want to make me an offer.
Unfortunately, I didn’t have access to a gentleman’s gentleman, so I had to do it myself.
But you are clearly supremely competent.
I used to keep geese – smaller but the idea’s the same. It’s the sneaking up that’s the problem; you might manage with a lone bird but, if there are any others around, they all start shouting “He’s behind you!” like kids at a pantomime.
As long as you remember that all the weaponry is at the front (well, except the biological stuff) you should be OK; the tricky thing is coordinating holding an extremely strong and agile neck with clamping down the wings.
Longrider, I take my hat off to you for what sounds like a very well-executed rescue.
I had the element of surprise on my side. I also think it was a bit disoriented landing on the railway line instead of the canal.
I also have this curious Doolittle effect on the furry and feathered beasts. I don’t know what it is, but they seem to be very calm in my presence. Others have noted this effect when they have witnessed it.
Most animals and birds can sense fear – if you are even the slightest bit hesitant they will take advantage of that!
That could be it, I guess. I don’t fear them.
Careful LR: I’m sure the RSPCA – despite its claimed lack of funds – would, had it known, make your life a misery in respect of your exercise of common sense without a risk assessment or the involvement of some “official” jobsworth. I hope no CCTV cameras were photographing the scene.
The risk assessment went along the lines of; you are the relief signaller, we need the line clear, chop, chop.
Chop, chop? Don’t you have to have the Queen’s permission to do that to a swan? 🙂
Would they have said the same if it’d been a bullock? 😉
Pretty much – although they would have sent two of us out.
And now I know how to do it too. Thanks. 🙂
One of my former workmates once had to go and retrieve an injured Swan, except it turned out to be a Herring Gull, which proceeded to try and peck him to death, the local Swans which turn up regularly on the line are generally much more easy going.
Played a bit of Rugby have we LR?
Unfortunately what you did would now be deemed a High Tackle, and you would be yellow carded and sin binned for 10 minutes 😉
I was always a bit small and light for rugby. On the occasions that I tried, I usually ended up face down in the permafrost.
Small & light. That’ll be hooker for you, and straight into the middle of the scrum. At least, that’s what used to happen at my school….
Nah, you sound like ideal Fly Half material to me Mun. You would have been a star if you grew up in Wales! And my hat is well and truly off to you for doing that, cos my generation had all been told that swans could break your leg with one blow of their beaks, or somesuch rot.
Never mind if the cops have received training in swan-wrangling: presumably, if a situation arises where a swan needs said wrangling, there would first need to be a risk assessment, leading to much standing around until 13-years old male passer-by, or young mother having put baby and pram to one side, intervene to resolve situation.
If I were a policeman on a bus, I might suggest that that Swan vid involves bondage.