Being something of an introvert – fairly close to the extreme end, I might add – organised social arrangements are something I tend to avoid. It’s why, probably, I decided to stop doing Christmas some years back. The decision to just opt out was like a weight sliding from my shoulders like melting pack ice into the Northern ocean.
For years, the office Christmas “do” wasn’t a problem for me. As I worked away from home, I could easily avoid Christmas parties with the excuse that I had a long commute and no one cared. Working as a self-employed consultant for the past eight years has meant that the issue doesn’t arise.
Now, with my part time role it has. The Christmas meal is a paid affair, so I can give that one a miss easily enough. But there are plans for a “do” either during or at the end of a shift. While for most, this is just part and parcel of the “festive season”; for an introvert who prefers solitude to social events, it is yet another thing to be avoided as politely as possible. When it was announced, I groaned inwardly. So, yes, to the majority I’m an anti-social bastard. But that’s the way I am. I doubt I’ll be changing now.
It’s not that I dislike company. I can be quite convivial in a small group and preferably as a consequence of impromptu gatherings. No, it’s the organised group “enjoyment” that leaves me cold. A get together with a few close friends is fun – a gathering of people I hardly know and have nothing in common with apart from work, isn’t. If I attend, I’ll end up remaining mute throughout the proceedings and If I don’t, I’ll just be a miserable and anti-social grump. I’m not, I just don’t like organised fun or large gatherings.
Did I say I hate this time of the year?
Several years ago I made a vow to myself to stop letting people coerce me into attending events that I don’t want to. My workplace have a Christmas meal followed by a disco every year and my wife and I don’t attend because we don’t enjoy such things. No one really hassles me over it. On the last day before the Christmas break just about everyone at work goes on a pub crawl after dinner time, I go straight home to my family because that is what I want to do. Take solace, you are not alone in not liking certain types of get together. I do enjoy Christmas though, but I enjoy it on my own terms.
Snap. I can put up with it for a while, but there comes a point when I just want to crawl into a hole. As the song goes, “you’ll always find me in the kitchen at parties”.
You’re certainly not alone. Once family left the nest and parents died, I too breathed a great sigh of relief at the opportunity to do my own thing over Christmas and New Year. The past couple of years has seen the weather disrupt many social events and I note few, if any, have been resurrected this year. Another sigh of relief.
However, I do have twinges of conscience when I think about those who are frail and infirm and would dearly appreciate company on Christmas Day.
Feel the same about New Year. When you’ve done a few you’ve done ’em all, and even the fireworks displays look a bit same-y after a while. My advice is if you’re up at midnight on New Year’s Eve the best fun you can have in company is sex. If you’re on your own it’s probably Call of Duty.
It seems that there are more of us around than I would have guessed. I still attend “essential” gatherings, but dive away as quickly as possible after talking a bit with the principals, and have a list of excuses (fairly genuine) why I should do that. This is especially handy when one meets “the same people” who say all the predictable things, using well-worn cliches.
“It seems that there are more of us around than I would have guessed.”
Maybe we need to get together. Ah, I see the problem…
Count me in (or out). I also loathe anything which smells of social ritual. Just enjoying people’s company is a quite different thing. I suspect these events are for people who don’t know how to do it naturally, without being told to. So they’re the anti-social ones really, not us.
No secret Santa at your place then?
I’d agree with every word of this post, although perhaps not to quite the same degree, as I am only mildly anti-social. I loathe Christmas anyway, and that works party thing is only a part of that. I’m much better in small groups of two or three where I feel comfortable. In large groups I either get grumpy and silent, or I get tiddly (to cover the unease) and get a bit loud. Neither do me much good, so I avoid them wherever possible. But I am doing the Secret Santa this year, as the colleague that was randomly chosen for me is someone I like and am fond of.
Curmudgeons Unite – you have nothing to lost but your tuneless rendition of the Birdie Song.
Sums me up to a t as well. Hate any organised ‘get together’ where would have to spend my finite time in the company of people I either don’t know, don’t want to know or don’t like.
Impromptu is fine family is fine but beyond that… Still love Christmas though spent with my wife and sons.
Me too – completely anti-social!
Perhaps that is why I enjoy reading your posts…
@CIngram #7
Hit the nail on the head.
I Still like Christmas though, even the cheesy songs*. I’m not a Christian, concentrate on the original meaning which is celebrating the passing of the winter soltice. Before anyone gets on my case, I still call it Christmas because that is what it’s called these days. Calling Thursday Thursday doesn’t mean that you worship Thor.
*Kirsty & Pogues, Wizzard, Slade, Greg Lake and Jethro Tull are my favourites.
I don’t do Xmas. At all. End of. No decorations, cards or presents.
Neither does my girlfriend.
This shocks and annoys people for some reason, but it’s just the way we are. We can’t be bothered with the whole thing at all.
I’m usually far too busy with work during the last eighth of the year anyway. But my goodness, it’s great to be free of the mad credit-fuelled tat-buying.
We have a fine time celebrating Hallowe’en to make up for it though 🙂
Incidentally, Dave Hill of Slade is now a Jehovah’s Witness. Seriously. You couldn’t make it up, could you?
Wow, I thought I was alone, this is like a “Christmas Anonymous” meeting! I have always hated this time of year for this very reason, my wife used to drag me to her family do’s. I used to feign illness, or work if I could get away with it.
We do have some decorations, put cards up etc. but the drab starkness when it all comes down and it’s still flaming January just ruins the whole thing.
I too like meeting friends for a drink, meal or whatever but at my own time not when “ordered” to do it.
It has just struck me that we are all men, sorry if I am wrong. Perhaps Xmas stuff is a female thing….
“Calling Thursday Thursday doesn’t mean that you worship Thor.”
You’ll be struck with lightning and partly assembled furniture for saying that.
Mmm, surprising response. I expected to be treated like the grinch… Maybe there are more Meldrews out there than I thought 😈
OMG! You sound like me. I’m always being told I’m an anti-social misery. I hate parties and office get togethers leave me cold. If the occasion warrants compulsory attendance, I normally turn up and leave as soon as I can without being rude.
It’s definitely not just a male thing.. I hate Christmas and I hate having to pretend I’m enjoying myself to please other people!
I don’t think it’s that people are antisocial or don’t like Christmas, just that a lot of us feel uncomfortable at office parties and any kind of organised social event.
The best partys are those that just “happen”.
Organised events they can shove up their collective arses. And aye, I DO tell them that as well. When “Honesty” and “Openess” are part of the job description, they should know what to expect.
Like the rest of you, I find the whole idea of celebrating because it’s what everybody else is doing (and to please the marketing people) anathema. Can’t stand office parties either.
I am essentially a very gregarious sort. I was in the bar trade off and on for some years, and from a social point of view, I loved it.
But I abhor the false gaity engendered by the “office do” or similar. All that faux back-slapping bonhomie just leaves me,(out of civility) with a rictus grin and a desire to run. And all the “Merry Christmas”ing and “Happy New Year”ing I find terribly tiresome. Fortunately I’ve worked for myself for 20+ years, so manage to avoid the worst of it.
That’s not to say I don’t enjoy a good knees-up, it’s just the stage-managed events that leave me cold.
“You will have fun.”
It’s probably why people get so paralytically drunk at office parties – it’s the only way to survive them…
For a moment, I thought I was reading my own post – that’s exactly hwo I feel about it too and when asked what I’m doing for Christmas, I say, “Hide.” And I shall. You look like you might too.
The hardest thing for me is the amateur drinkers filling the pubs. These people emerge at this time of year for their works’ parties, organised or impromptu, they make far too much noise, crowd at the bar ordering ever more ridiculous cocktails. OMG, I think I will order a barrel of Bishop’s Farewell and hibernate for a month. Bah, humbug.
So that’s why LR hasn’t got back to me, he’s shy! 😉
I am your opposite LR, very extrovert, but guess what? I hate Christmas too, for many reasons, but the main one is that I’ve done all tommorrow’s parties already. My life has been one long party. Done, been, burnt the T shirt.
Christmas is for kids. It is magic for them, but a pain in the arse for us adults. The whole presents thing and stocking up enough food for a siege, that lasts 24 hours before the shops are open again. Madness! I have a child’s best xmas piece coming up soon on CCIZ, when everyone is a bit more in the mood.
So, like you, I prefer a few close friends to dinner, good people, good food, good chat and kicking music. What could be finer?
Inertia, more like. I work nights, so don’t get much time or inclination to go out of an evening.
XX The hardest thing for me is the amateur drinkers filling the pubs. These people emerge at this time of year for their works’ parties, organised or impromptu, they make far too much noise, crowd at the bar ordering ever more ridiculous cocktails.
Comment by ANDY5759 — November 28, 201 XX
THEN come along the media scum and the bansterbators and extrapolate from the piles of pissed office workers lining the gutters, who normally get pissed on the smell of a bar maids tits, and drink perrier for the rest of the year, that “THIS is a perfect example of why drinking should be banned”.
When I worked for this firm I told them to stuff their Christmas nonsense. Be Bold!
My latest avoidance tactic which is shared with a friend, is to tell all who ask the dread question”Would you like to come to us for Christmas?”. “Oh we are going to Bert’s all over the holidays”.
Of course he then says he is coming to us, neither of us meet nor do we get stuck with visitors who want to drink our good booze and watch TV. Bliss!