The muse struck once more. This little ditty is less formal than the sonnet; simply rhyming couplets in a series of quatrains. I’ll admit to a slight hat tip to Gilbert and Sullivan. Anyway, for your delectation, “The Modern Totalitarian”.
The Modern Totalitarian
The 21st Century dawns a brave new day
And a brave world needs a brave new way.
Modern times need modern legislation
And Tony is the model of the modern totalitarian.
Bumbling Andy’s got the programme, he’s a rising star,
He says good citizens must prove daily who they are,
Or maybe not every day, he’s not too sure again.
Never mind, he’s trying to be a modern totalitarian.
Rancorous Charlie’s contemptuous of us all.
If you’re NO2ID you’re nought but a silly fool.
A voluntary passport means enforced registration.
My, he’s the model of a modern totalitarian!
We don’t like juries; you never know what they’ll do.
Independent judges can be a proper nuisance too.
Falconer will instruct them how to behave with legislation,
Yup, he’s the model of a modern totalitarian.
Buff Hoon want the Lords to give the commons sway,
“We’ve 20% support; so it’s what the people say”
It doesn’t matter what we said, this is what we betoken,
Yes, Buff Hoon’s a thoroughly modern totalitarian.
A modern emergency needs serious counter measures
So we’ve a new contingency act to cover all our bases.
Rule by cabinet. Oh! How very authoritarian,
But, then, our Tony’s a very modern totalitarian.
Protest isn’t very modern, we’ve made it against the law,
Now all we have to do is sort that annoying Mr Haw.
We’ll make it antisocial to be a libertarian,
Much better by far to be a modern totalitarian.
Charlie’s got a new model police force with few constraints,
Modern criminals need modern enforcers (too bad about complaints).
Now they’re doing away with parliament for making regulation,
My God! Isn’t Tony the model of a modern totalitarian?
Longrider April 2006